Sunday, September 20, 2009

few lines of broken thoughts

Life is supposed to be good.
Or does it really? I get doubtful every now and then. I remember when I was this young kid....still virgin to the board exams, I used to think one such exam would make me old enough or grown up enough to do stuff like renting a truck and bringing some stuff from ranaghat back to my hometown. For the over-curious ones, the history behind that statement is not important, the important part is that, it never happened. Even after 11 goddam years. After sufficient soul searching (believe me when i say sufficient!) I concluded that it is not about age or time after all. To some extent it is about experience, and to some extent it is about necessity. But I guess, most of the people already knows this.

Now one would wonder why today has this freak again started to break the peace in blogspace...Well..what can one say except that there are so many things, some of them one can share with the world, some of them are to remain buried. Most of those things has the same old adjectives tho! Love, beauty, elegance, confusion, indecision and suffering. Not related but in a weird way related too.

Today was a company picnic day. Dumb one. Ate worst chicken nuggets of my life, and the veg food menu was not sufficient to justify a 70 mile travel. But the ambiance, the people (err..) and the sun..it was not that bad a day after all. And there was beauty. Green one! It's already 2:28 the next day and I guess I should sleep rather than typing nonsense. But one thing shall remain in my mind, even after all these years....the thing that haunts and will haunt..I am unable to talk..as in make a proper conversation when it matters. :|

Now where did I start? Oh yes, growing up...like my favourite lines, growing up happens in a heartbeat, one day you are in diapers and the next day you are gone. But the memories stay, if it's worth staying though. :|
Slowly I am losing one by one...personal life is a mess, and all the people I ever thought of caring about, are finding people to care about themselves. :P
Tragically funny.
What would I do going back?
What am i doing here?
Oh I know..I am typing to glory.
Need to get my sleep.
Sunday mornings..love them. :|

8 comments:

olive oyl said...

your confusion has made you almost... err.. cute :P

Sohini said...

OMG ! i think u should meditate .. make friends and try to have fun out of the most dull thing ...
and watch Castaway .... it's got the most beautiful message for depressed maniacs like us :)
"The most beautiful thing in life is life itself "

Lost within myself said...

thanks for the tips sohini :) appreciate it.
I Have watched Castaway, and do you know what I remember the most from the movie? the listless eyes of the protagonist at the end of it, at the crossroad.

Rudrani Gangopadhyay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sohini said...

Hmmmm ... i would like to suggest another movie. The pursuit of happiness....
I have learned a lot from it ... I'm sure u will too ...

Krishanu said...

Hi... I Chanced upon your blog somehow ... but you seem very dipressed ... dont be... talk to people ... get rid if the black smoke around you... laugh your lungs out ... that helps ...mail me at krishanudutta84@gmail.com

Krishanu said...

Hi... I Chanced upon your blog somehow ... but you seem very dipressed ... dont be... talk to people ... get rid if the black smoke around you... laugh your lungs out ... that helps ...mail me at krishanudutta84@gmail.com

olive oyl said...

where are you these days?