Saturday, June 14, 2008

Wish life was simpler.

In a breakthrough empty thought process, I found out that each time I drink, be it in pleasure or pain, I end up doing/saying something so stupid on the phone to people I care for that makes me suffer all the time. Thus each time hurting them and in turn myself. It's been 2 years and I have still not learned the simplest thing, to switch the freaking mobile off once I reach my place after the enjoying (?) alcoholic beverages.
I am a very emotional creature, but those emotions lay deep within my conscious self. That is, I try to keep them buried there so that they don't cause any harm to the surroundings.
But somehow alcohol, however small in quantity has this uncanny capacity to bring out in a few minutes what took me all my adulthood to suppress (I am not talking of desires perverts. :P).
I almost lost and have lost so many things in my few years of existence due to this stuff, that people can call me a drunkard unless they know me better.
Made my life's most grave mistakes when I drunk. And surprisingly, it did not take me more than drinking once in a month to achieve all that!
I have shamed myself to a dear friend of mine whom I care deeply for, to have said some things I probably never should have. A promise to myself, I will try to keep my cell switched off after any such future events to minimize my stupidity.

1 comment:

olive oyl said...

wish you abstained from alcohol if you feel sad about it later on... but then, who wouldnt mind being intoxicated for a while? why do you dwell so much on your mistakes? what about the good things you have done? :)